This could be para... para... paradise.

This could be para... para... paradise.

Just a year ago this song by Coldplay could have been the story of my life.

As a young girl's dreams are shattered against the wall of reality...

At this moment I'm walking past Westminster, listening to this song and typing this note on my iPhone with my half paralyzed, frozen fingers - hardly aiming at the right keys.

I see the reflection of myself in the mirror that the rain has left on the sidewalk. The raindrops are dancing on my iPhone screen and sparkling like little rainbows.

When I look up I see birds flying over the river Thames, in Search of some breakfast.

I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. I don't care.

Because a sudden realization has hit me: This could in fact be a paradise.

It's grey, its rainy, it's windy and cold - it definitely does not look like a stereotypical paradise.

But I don't have to close my eyes to dream of it. I don't even sleep at night. I am living my dream. The most beautiful dream.

No I'm not high.

I type what I see and whatever is popping into my head as I walk and listen to Coldplay...

I go past the genitor, who is picking up the wet leaves, past a sleepy builder having his early morning cigarette, past a car park ticket collector, who probably wishes he was not the one to be hated by all the ones that he has to fine. I see a homeless man. And people rushing to their jobs struggling with the wind tearing their boring black umbrellas out of their red cold hands.

And me? I am going to do what I love. And no amount of grey, no amount of freezing wind, no amount of rain can make me believe that this is not a paradise. Because it is.

Paradise is when you can follow your heart. Not where the sky is blue, not where the sun rays warm your face and mojitos cool your vains...

Maybe this grey, wet, cold place could be the actual paradise Coldplay sings about.

"When she was just a girl, she expected the World...

She dreamed of para para paradise, every time she closed her eyes. "

Until one day she opened them and realized. Paradise is here. Now.

This entire note is written on the go, pictures taken also. I'm still listening to this song. Hopefully it makes sense. To someone. If only just a little.

In my secret life...

 

In my secret life.

Today I am as happy as a bird with a french fry... so happy... my glass is not half full... it's overflowing.

I haven't written anything in 2 weeks. So much has been going on I'm really happy to say I had no time. Oh I love being busy. I actually begin to feel like an actress.

London is an amazing place to be for an actor. There are so many classes to choose from, plays to see, independent cinema screenings, festivals. And mostly filled with creative people with great film ideas.

It's autumn and it's freezing outside. Today was a very sunny day for the first time in many, too many clouded weeks. We were shooting in the park. It was lovely. I thought I would share some of the pictures, since me and Instagram are having a love affair.

Autumn in London is lovely.

Oh happy days...

Ciao :)

I'm s-crew-ed.

Well.

I am not an editor. Or a director. I know nothing about lighting. I know nothing about framing... But I have that need.  That need to inspire. To write. To make people laugh. And cry. And smile. And (...).

I have but a small camcorder and a pocket full of ideas.
Lots of ideas. Lately.
 
Let's just say that in this sense... I am screwed.
Or: I need a crew.
To bring these humble ideas of mine to life.

I need YOU, wonderful creative people!

Wherever you are hiding.
I need you now.
Come out. Save me.

:)


Though they say, if you want to do something - do it right. But there are times you get inspired and well... You just do it. Because you feel like it. That's all...

For now. Here is my outburst of spontaneity. Hope you enjoy.

Please check out patriciaskowron.com/projects to find out about some of the projects I want to create. And see if you want to be a part of them :)

Count That Day Lost. By George Eliot

I love walking home from my acting class. I walk past my favorite part of London, Covent Garden. It's inspiring. All the theatres. Cinemas. Bookstores. 

It should take me about a fourty minute walk to get home, but usually it takes over three hours, because I just have to stop in each book store on the way and explore. In search of some meaning. To life. Or just to read the book of cat poems. Or this funny little book called: 'fuck it'. (Really good for stress relief I advice you all to read it). But back to where I was heading. I have stumbled upon the most beautiful poem the other day - and I simply HAD TO share it.

Here it goes:

If you sit down at set of sun
And count the acts that you have done,
And, counting, find
One self-denying deed, one word
That eased the heart of him who heard,
One glance most kind
That fell like sunshine where it went -
Then you may count that day well spent.

But if, through all the livelong day,
You've cheered no heart, by yea or nay -
If, through it all
You've nothing done that you can trace
That brought the sunshine to one face -
No act most small
That helped some soul and nothing cost -
Then count that day as worse than lost.

By: George Eliot

But then. Walking home, all I can see is busy Londoners. Too busy to see an older lady barely managing to keep her balance on the tube wagon... Not one will offer her their sit. Busy Londoners passing by a crying girl on a bench. Not one will ask her, what had happened. Busy Londoners ignoring the violinist. For whom one smile of appreciation would be worth more then thousand bucks. 7 million busy Londoners. The neighbor in the lift. Who will not even say hello. In fear of getting mugged perhaps... This is what I truly miss about Spain. The sense of belonging. The random smiles, the random compliments between strangers. Little chit chat with the upstairs neighbor... Little acts of kindness that don't cost a thing, but can mean so much...

Side Tracked Actors. Head up. We all need a dream reignition.

Some days we begin waving a white flag. 

We can barely get out of the bed in the morning. 
Hairbrush? 
Forget it - if I find a vaguely matching pair of socks, I'd call it day's mission accomplished.  

Some days we forget to dream. 

We get side-tracked. 
Some would say - we get a 'reality check'. 
But 'reality' is just a theory. 
- A theory that there is some kind of a limit on how far we can go in life. 
   
Tell me is there something standing in your way? 
Kick it's butt.

Simple.

Get excited again, find that lost dream, make a brand new plan, work that magic ten thousand hours and man, it is yours. 

When you are full of excitement and positive thoughts, ideas will spring into your mind like swans to the bread crumbs. 
So I intend to go into that audition room next time thinking - 'just watch me'. And you should do the same my friend...
 
And it will be good. Very good. You have the power to make it so.

 

... when you loose your drive.
When you go to auditions half-prepared. 
When you put working on the scripts for later.   

Reignite.

Don't hope. Decide.

Let me say from the start, that I did not write this story. I just thought it's worth reading. 

This story, dear children, is about love.
This story, can be applied to any other aspect of your life.
Could be a career, could be love, could be anything at all.
Stop existing and start living. 
Take charge of your life.
And.

Enjoy.

 "While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

“Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”

Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”

The man suddenly stopped smiling.

He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”"

- By Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc.
Copyright 1997

"The Greater the Struggle - the More Glorious the Triumph"

'The Butterfly Circus' a short little film that turned my life around.

Impossible is nothing.

Don't put a limit on what you think you can do.

The short was written and directed by Joshua Weigel. Starring Nick Vujicic - the most inspiring person on this silly planet.  A wonderful man, who time and time again proves that there is no limits in life. Despite all odds. I admire him so immensely. He deserves to have the most beautiful life.

{ http://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Vujicic }

 High quality: https://vimeo.com/17150524

I come from a long line of actors. It's called an 'audition queue'.

STOP WORRYING. Be a happy actor. 

Do not. EVER. Call yourself a S T R U G G L I N G actor. 

Be excited about auditions. They are fun. They let you ACT. They let you do that one thing you love so much.

And that is what being an actor is all about right?

Acting.

So don't dread an audition. Don't get worried that you might not get a callback. 

Because auditioning in itself is a fantastic part of actors life. If it results in a job? Perfect! If it doesn't? So be it, there are more exciting auditions to go to.

Think about it this way:

You'd pay 25 pounds for an hour of acting class. Here you get a chance of one for free in form of a casting. Seize this opportunity to further your skill. When you prepare for a casting, apply everything you have ever learnt, hell, go method on it, do it the American way - go to a casting like you already got the part. It's yours. Be there as if you've been to make-up and wardrawbe. When you land the job, you can't afford to stress over what the director thinks, because you must be in the moment. Why not do the same with a casting? Leave all your insecurities outside that door. They want you to be it !!! That is why they called you to audition. They didn't say behind your back: Hey! Lets make fun of this struggling bastard, lets call him in and laugh at his face. NO. They call you in, because they HOPE with all of their hearts and souls you are the one. They are your friend. They have seen your showreel, they know audition setting will not be a field to prove your FULL potential, because frankly talking to a wall or camera lense is never going to be organic - and no matter how much you will trick yourself into believing your circumstances - and no matter how clearly you see the camera becoming face of a beloved - it is bound to be less then your final performance would be. 

They know it! 

Knowing that they know it - CHILL. And. Enjoy. 

Love yourself.

A wise man once said to a wise woman: 

                          " You really love yourself."

She was about to protest.

Then. She thought to herself:

                           " Why, yes I do love myself."

And you know what?

Nothing wrong with loving oneself.

How can you love the World, the people, your life - if you don't love yourself?

How can you expect someone else to love you - if you don't love yourself?

The wise woman found that before - back when she used to pick on herself, dwell on past mistakes, dwell on her flaws - There would always be some traces of envy in her. And she would  find excuses. She would blame the circumstances for the actions and choices she would then later regret. But once she'd come to realise that she could be whomever she wanted to be; and once she has become more or less who she wanted to be -there was not a hint of negativity in her left. And now she can be FREE. She can be happy for others. Trully. For their success. Almost as if it was her own. But it is ONLY because she knows she is the person she wants to be, doing what she wants to do. And she loves being herself. Because of this she can love the World without limits.

It is a powerful and liberating feeling. 

And yes. That woman was me. Shhh.

Now I'm not saying you should be arrogant. Or that you should love yourself more then you love others. But just be happy with who you are. And if you are not, become the person you want to be:

Be the person YOU can LOVE. 

Yes. You can.

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

100.

           1 to change the bulb.

                         99 to say "I could have done it".


Good times.

That's the story of - that's the glory of - UNPAID jobs.

I see some actors shrug, when they hear the word UNPAID.

If you are one of them. I am talking to you!

In any discipline - be it business, medicine, law - an unpaid internship can last up to a year. It's only  with time, with one promotion after another that the cheque figures start to dance. Actors are not exempt of this little truth.

Now. As an ACTOR. You are a small entrepreneur. 

Most entrepreneurs will stay just that, small businesses. 

But. 

The the few that risk. That invest. That cleverly craft their price strategies and marketing. Willing to make ZERO profit at the start. Well those businesses, my darlings, will branch out into franchises and big corporations. 

Would Facebook be what it is now should Mr. Zuckenberg charge for the services?

An actor's value is expanded through EXPOSURE.

Build up your BRAND.

THEN expect the goodies.

Now I know - it's hard to meet expenses as an actor,

* though I do not find it hard to meet expenses - they are everywhere  *

 but be smart-assy about WHERE you want to be stingy. 

Think long term.

There is an opportunity. To be a part of a potentially marvelous project.

Would you rather refuse the offer based on it's pay status and then spend your time at home crying to a pillow or asking your dog why it is that you are not a working actor? If that is a case I don't know what to say to you, you silly silly actor.

Now. I've only just started in this mighty industry - so what the hell do I know? My at-times-common sense tells me, that the more people see your work - the higher your chances of landing a paid job in the future.

And it is not just about money is it? Becuase if it is - you might want to RETHINK your career choices. If you are an actor at HEART - you will be happy to ACT. Full stop. Act for free, act for a dollar, act for a million dollars. Regardless...

And remember:

Money doesn't bring happiness.

*It's the things you buy with it that do.*

Acting should make you happy. 

Work a night shift at a Tesco if you must. 

Look forward to the amazing day you will spend on set - doing what you TRULLY love. 

How many people do you know, who get to do what they love? 

How many people even know what their passion in life is? 

Would they say... "I won't do this thing that makes me passionate and happy, because it is not going to pay me" ?

Yes. You might have to bite your lip and suffer a little with a shitty part time job.

But what is important is...

... You follow your dream.

Here is why you should grab those un-paid jobs:

1. It's fun.

2. You learn. For free.

3. It's fun.

4. You meet great industry people or at least the ones with future 'greatness' potential.

5. Exposure - market value.

6. It's fun.

7. You boost your CV and get a great showreel material.

8. You learn. A LOT.

9. YOU ACT!

- I am assuming acting is what you love doing? You love cake you eat cake. Cake doesnt pay you to eat it does it? -

10. It's fun.

Some good ten little reasons, aren't they? 

And one more thing:

"If you're to big to follow rivers - how you ever gonna find the sea? " Emeli Sande

A little goodnight story.

A Fox once saw a Crow fly off with a piece of cheese in its beak and settle on a branch of a tree. "That's for me, as I am a Fox," said Master Reynard, and he walked up to the foot of the tree. "Good-day, Mistress Crow," he cried. "How well you are looking to-day: how glossy your feathers; how bright your eye. I feel sure your voice must surpass that of other birds, just as your figure does; let me hear but one song from you that I may greet you as the Queen of Birds."

The Crow lifted up her head and began to caw her best, but the moment she opened her mouth the piece of cheese fell to the ground, only to be snapped up by Master Fox. "That will do," said he. "That was all I wanted. In exchange for your cheese I will give you a piece of advice for the future.

"Do not trust flatterers."

* Source: Aesop's Fables

An important message from the Bloggiest Bloggy Blogger.

 

That would be all. 

Good day.